We all have our weird, wonderful lonely eating habits—but what do they actually look like? Writer Samantha Widder and photographer Anna Spelman interviewed 150 people about their solo munchies, and photographed the most poignant findings.
“When alone, I allow myself to eat things that I would never serve to guests or share with a roommate (things like frozen food, junk food, fast food, microwaveable food). I think there’s some kind of shame associated with those kinds of food – they’re too quick, unhealthy, and cheap – and I’d feel very uncomfortable subjecting somebody else to one of these kinds of meals.” /// photo by Anna Spelman
“I eat dry cereal a lot. My ex-boyfriend once got me about 12 boxes of assorted cereal as a present. It was actually right before we broke up from a two and a half year relationship. He moved several states away. I ate that cereal mercilessly, the way other people binge drink or eat cartons of Ben & Jerry’s in a break-up. I loved him.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“When eating alone I’m almost always in my bedroom, sitting on my bed. Most likely with my TV on or laptop in front of me, open to some kind of nonsense. I’m usually eating something I’d be too embarrassed to ever serve another human being. Like a microwaved sweet potato, smashed with a fork, with olive oil & sea salt, and sardines. Also mashed in. And maybe almond butter.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“Now that I live with my boyfriend, I will try not to waste a good meal on me alone – if I have veggies and fish or chicken to make for the week, I’ll save those for when he is home and have a can of soup instead.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“My favorite alone meal is cheese and crackers. It’s basically my favorite meal period. I will eat the whole box of crackers in one sitting so I rarely let myself have crackers at home. The same goes for cheese. It is the most delicious food in the world and I have a hard time regulating myself when I have it in the fridge.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“There was a woman who lived across the street from me, alone, and I would watch her rituals which paralleled mine, and I spotted her on her little balcony dining on salmon for one. It was a good recipe, but instructed to sear the skin and slip it off- I say live a little! And maybe follow that salmon with rocky road.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“On a morbid note, if I think about being alone while I eat I can freak myself out thinking about choking or some other horrible thing. Which can be a real downer. If I am feeling really concerned about that I will eat something mushy, call someone on the phone (at least they will know), or wait and not eat until someone else shows up.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“There’s a lot of shame involved. I think about what this would look like if someone saw me eating the random things that I do, often off a paper towel instead of a plate. I don’t categorize food eaten at home alone as ‘real.'” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“I love waking up and making myself giant breakfasts on the weekends. I sometimes eat these in bed or on the couch instead of at the table, where I eat my rushed weekday breakfasts while staring out my living room’s big bay windows. That’s nice too, because it’s a little moment of calm before the rush of the day, but the weekend breakfasts give me more satisfaction and ‘hell yes, I GOT THIS ON MY OWN I DON’T NEED ANYONE’ feelings than any $25 bottomless brunch ever could.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“When I eat alone, I always use a pillow as a ‘table’ for my plate. I’m usually in comfy clothes, baggy sweatpants and tee shirt (breakfast or dinner because I rarely eat lunch alone). I eat like no one is watching because they’re not. This means big portions, big bite sizes and an extremely messy face or fingers. I love this time to myself. I usually don’t cook for myself so my alone meals are usually prepared in my microwave.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
“When I eat alone I always end up eating in front of the TV. Not to watch anything particular, guess just for the noise, since I don’t have nobody to have a conversation with. I also don’t make the right choices for some of my meals, especially when it comes to eating dinner by myself. Sometimes I eat a Lean Cuisine meal, sometimes i warm up a can of Campbell Chunky Soup, sometimes I make a PF Chang’s skillet meal. It’s ridiculous how I make those bad food choices from time to time knowing it’s not what I should eat and how I tell myself that it is better then any food from a fast food chain.” /// Photo by Anna Spelman
Everyone eats alone.
And by alone, I mean thoroughly alone; no one in the house, no one in another room, no one on their way over.
The fact is, we never truly talk about what or how we eat when we are alone. Do we behave in a manner that we’d be embarrassed if someone caught us? Do we set the table, cook an elaborate meal, and savor the quiet? Do we have habits that could be labeled as eating disorders if there was another person present? I am fascinated with the power and self-awareness that comes when we eat alone, but it’s something people never talk about— even though it’s also one that can make us closer to each other.
After theorizing and researching private eating, I decided to create a photo essay that tells the true story—with real voices and anecdotes about these untold feasts.
These quotes are curated from an open-ended, anonymous survey of 150 people I conducted asking people to “describe how or what you eat when alone.” People shared beautiful accounts, sad and raw, about the emotions they experience when they eat alone. Others described how relishing in a meal alone is a rare joy that allows them to abandon manners and proper meals.
Meals eaten in this solitary manner are deeply rooted not just in pleasure and delight, as I had initially expected when I started this project, but also in guilt, shame, self-consciousness, anger, and loneliness. By peering into other individuals’ solitary meals at home, my goal is to humanize the emotionally charged experience and ultimately create an understanding with my audience that private eating is a shared occurrence.
Perfectly crafting images to reveal the thrill in consuming “an entire cake, fully frosted” or “cold leftovers standing at the fridge” was harder than expected. However, sifting through beautiful quotations and hearing people speak with timid glee about how they consume led me to believe that the negative associations with eating alone needn’t be erased: they could instead be celebrated as human behavior.
This project allows us to embody the moment presented in an image and understand that all private habits, however odd, gluttonous, thrilling, or disturbing, allow us to each express our individuality and also come together as people. In creating these words and images, I found that our individual consumption actually creates a tapestry of humanity; one far more beautiful and complex than the eating selves we present in public.
You can view the full project at Bed Spaghetti: The Untold Feast .
